Yes, Life Goes On

Miss-U-Gram ®️

8 months ago

What to Expect in Grief

By Patricia D. Freudenberg

One of the most profound yet painful realities we face in grief is this: life goes on.

In the early stages—especially during the first year—this truth can feel almost offensive to our mind, body, and soul. The calendar pages turn, the world keeps spinning, and yet we’re standing still, caught in the stillness of sorrow. Many grievers share the testimony of guilt—guilt for smiling again, for enjoying a moment, for moving forward in any way. It feels as if to live fully is to forget, and so we hesitate.

But I offer this gentle reminder as a Certified End-of-Life Coach: legacy and acceptance are not opposites. In fact, they are partners in the healing process.

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It means giving ourselves permission to live again, not in place of our loved ones, but in honor of them. Grief comes in waves, yes. There are moments that pull at our heartstrings and shake us to the core. But with time, we learn to let those waves wash over us—to cleanse and renew rather than drown us.

Research supports this perspective. The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement emphasizes oscillation between two processes: loss-oriented and restoration-oriented coping. This model suggests that engaging with the reality of loss (acceptance) and adapting to life changes (restoration) are both essential for healthy grieving .

Furthermore, the CHIME framework in mental health recovery highlights Connectedness, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment as key elements. Acceptance plays a pivotal role in fostering hope and rebuilding identity after loss .

Legacy is how we carry them forward. It’s the torch we hold, lighting our path as we live a life worthy of remembering—not just for their memory, but for our own.

So, whether you are just beginning this journey or you’re years in, may this truth settle gently within you: Yes, life goes on—and you are allowed to go on with it.

Reflection Prompt:

In what ways can I honor my loved one by how I choose to live today? Am I allowing myself permission to experience joy, to make plans, to build legacy—even as I carry my grief?

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