Grief Recovery Series
Written by Patricia D. Freudenberg
Grief is often described as “peeling the layers of an onion,” and for good reason. The stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and the additional steps of meaning and legacy—are not linear. They circle, overlap, and often return when we least expect them.
When grief strikes, you may think, Patty, are you crazy? Of course, I know myself. But the truth is, grief has a way of surprising us. It can bring out emotions and reactions we didn’t know were there. As we peel back the layers, we are invited into a deeper level of self-awareness:
What am I really feeling right now?
Why am I responding this way?
What is this teaching me about my inner world?
This inward journey allows you to discover new depths of self-love and resilience. It gives meaning to your pain and opens space for growth, transformation, and legacy. When we consciously reflect on the “why” and “what” behind our emotions, we take an active role in healing.
Stanford Research on Grief and Growth
Stanford University studies in the field of emotional neuroscience have shown that reflective practices during times of grief activate the brain’s prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for meaning-making and emotional regulation. This allows individuals to reframe their experience, leading to greater psychological resilience and personal growth.
Fun Fact: One Stanford study found that participants who practiced “emotional labeling” (naming the layer of emotion they were experiencing) reported a 30% decrease in feelings of overwhelm during grieving.
Focusing on Legacy
Peeling the layers is not just about coping; it’s about reclaiming your story. As I often say:
“The glory is in the story.”– Patty
This means carrying the torch of your loved one’s memory while choosing to live a life that will be remembered. Legacy is about both honoring those who came before us and living fully in the present.
Reflection Prompt
Take a quiet moment today and ask yourself:
Which layer of grief am I in right now?
What can this layer teach me about myself and the story I’m telling?
How can I transform this layer into a step toward growth and legacy?
Write your thoughts down. You may be surprised by what you discover.
Recommended Reading
If you’d like to go deeper into the idea of legacy as a stage of grief, I encourage you to read my book:
Live Your Legacy: A New Spin on Mourning
In this “guidebook”, I add Legacy as the seventh step to the traditional stages of grief, helping readers find light at the end of the tunnel and a renewed sense of purpose.
Available on Amazon⬇️
With Love and Light,
Patricia D. Freudenberg
Certified End-of-Life Coach | Author | Founder & CEO of Miss-U-Gram®
Miss-U-Gram.com
© 2025 Patricia D. Freudenberg. All Rights Reserved.
Please note: Some links in this email may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Influencer, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for supporting grief recovery resources through Miss-U-Gram®.
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