Keep It Simple: Grief Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts, Volume 15

By Patricia D. Freudenberg

As we near the conclusion of this Grief Etiquette series, I invite you to reflect with me on a simple but powerful reminder: Keep it simple.

Sometimes, in our effort to support those grieving—or even in navigating our own grief—we can overthink it. We wonder what to say, how to act, what not to do. But the truth is, the best thing we can do is just be ourselves.

Throughout this series, I’ve shared recommendations, not rules. These thoughts have come from studies, research, personal experience, and testimonies from the wonderful individuals in my grievance support groups. The consistent thread in every scenario is this: if your intention comes from love, even if it’s not perfect, it matters.

We can’t read minds. We’re going to make mistakes. But when we approach others with sincerity and kindness, we’re already doing something right.

Yesterday is gone—use it as reflection. Tomorrow isn’t here yet—aspire to do better. But in this moment, just be you.

I know it may sound cliché, but go with the flow. There’s wisdom in that phrase. When we allow life to unfold without forcing it, we not only preserve our energy but also create space for healing.

Recommended Reading: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

This classic book explores how we can enter a state of “flow”—a place where we are fully immersed in the present moment. While not specifically about grief, the concepts are deeply applicable. In grief recovery, finding moments of flow—whether through art, conversation, prayer, or simply being—can serve as an anchor in the storm.

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© 2025 Patricia D. Freudenberg, Certified End-of-Life Coach. All Rights Reserved.