Misplaced Energy

Grief Recovery Newsletter

Written by Patricia D. Freudenberg 

There’s a great old saying: “Where attention goes, energy flows.”

In your walk with grief, this truth can become both a challenge and an opportunity. When we lose a loved one in the physical realm, our natural instinct is to focus on their absence. The thoughts repeat: “They’re not here anymore.”

Even though science reminds us that energy cannot be destroyed—it only transitions and transforms—the pain of not having their physical presence, their touch, their laughter, their personality, is undeniable.

In the early stages of grief, we often dwell on the gap—the missing piece. And yes, this contrast teaches us. But the longer we stay at rock bottom, the harder it becomes to rise.

The art of recovery begins when we catch ourselves and gently redirect our attention. By doing so, we can master realignment and focus on living fully in the land of the living. This does not dismiss grief or its pain, but it acknowledges what cannot change: we cannot bring our loved one back to the physical.

What we can do is honor their legacy while tending to our own. Share the good memories, speak their name, carry the torch of their love. Cook their recipes, laugh at the old stories, revisit the photos. These treasures no one can take away.

And don’t forget your own self-care. Take time to rest, to heal, to nourish your body and spirit. Grief asks much of us, but when we master our attention, we direct our energy toward what serves healing, legacy, and love.

Because once again, where attention goes, energy flows—and that is a fact.

Quote of the Day

“Grief bends our focus toward loss, but love realigns our attention toward legacy.”

– Patricia D. Freudenberg

Reflection Prompt

Where is your energy flowing today?
Write down one memory of your loved one that lifts your spirit, and one self-care step you will take for yourself this week.

 Book Recommendation

For deeper reflections and practical steps in transforming grief into legacy, explore my book Live Your Legacy: A New Spin on Mourning.

Available on Amazon 

Patricia D. Freudenberg
Certified End-of-Life Consultant
Founder & CEO, Miss-U-Gram®

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